Two years ago, my cousin gave birth to a healthy-looking baby boy. A friend of hers in the neighborhood saw the baby's soft and stylish clothes and said to my cousin, "Keep these clothes for me! I won't need to buy them when I have a baby!" Two years later, this friend brought it up again. My cousin subtly told her friend that she wanted to keep the baby's clothes for her younger brother, who was already married and would soon have a child. His family wasn't well-off, so the clothes would come in handy. But this friend wouldn't give up. She visited, pleaded and haggled, and picked out the best outfits before leaving.
I have a friend whose father unfortunately contracted cancer, and the family had used up all their savings for treatment. When we heard about it, we were all heartbroken and discussed each contributing a few hundred yuan to buy some nutritional supplements and fruit to visit her. Then, each of us received a call from her, hoping we could lend her money for her medical expenses. At the time, we were all university students with no income, and the money we planned to contribute was saved from our food allowances. But this friend retorted matter-of-factly, "Why don't you borrow money from your parents and relatives?" We were extremely embarrassed, unable to ask our parents. Naturally, our friend was very unhappy, and we felt awkward too. A once harmonious friendship thus began to fade.
Another time, I was queuing at a window. A girl who had just arrived noticed a friend ahead of her in line, went up to greet her, and naturally cut in front of her friend. This drew protests from the other queuing members. The girl wouldn't budge, arguing fiercely with the others, grabbing her friend and yelling, "Tell me, will you let me go ahead of you?" The friend, blushing, didn't know what to say. To calm things down, she finally had to give up her place and rejoin the queue.
Actually, if you just put yourself in your friend's shoes, you wouldn't make those difficult requests. Some things that seem natural and reasonable to you are not so easy for a friend to do. The preciousness of friendship lies in the shared interests and, implicitly, mutual consideration. Because of this consideration, one won't put a friend in a difficult position; because of this consideration, one won't use morality or emotion to blackmail a friend. Not putting a friend in a difficult position is less about cherishing friendship and more about cultivating one's character. Those who completely disregard their friends' situations and feelings may not be sincere. Because a true friend will not put you in a difficult position, nor would they have the heart to do so.
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