Mom, I don't want to be your good girl anymore.

 　　My mother, because our family was poor, started working to earn money after graduating from elementary school. I often tell her, "Mom, your strength is your warm heart, your weakness is that you're too warm-hearted." My

　　mother always laughs in response.

　　My mother has many strengths, but sometimes her personality directly influences mine. From a young age, I was seen as a "good girl" by others. Neighboring parents often said to their children, "If you could be like Little S (a Taiwanese celebrity), we'd have less to worry about. Why can't you learn from her, staying home on weekends to cook for your parents instead of going out to play?" Thinking about it now, I can't help but feel a little sad. To be honest, I'm the kind of girl who appears obedient on the surface but loves adventure inside. But I can never go against my mother's wishes.

　　I remember when I was little, going shopping with my mother for socks. At first, she would say, "Choose a pair of socks you like."

　　I would be very happy then. I would choose my socks, and my mother would help my father and herself choose. Whenever I picked out my first pair and showed them to her, saying, "Mom, I want this pair,"

　　I remember choosing a pair of pink socks with little white rabbit patterns. I loved them so much. But my mother glanced at them and immediately started yelling at the saleswoman, "You wear pink socks? This color gets dirty so easily! Do you wash your socks every day? I have to wash them for you!"

　　Hearing this, I felt so wronged that tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't argue with my mother. In the end, she picked out a color she thought suited me. Sometimes I would also pick out clothes I liked, pants I liked, hair clips I liked, but in the end, my mother would reject them all.

　　In the end, every time my mom said, "Little S, I'm going shopping with your Aunt Li today. Her daughter is going too. You should get ready and come too,"

　　I would always reply, "Mom, I have so much homework this week, I haven't finished it yet, and there are a few classical Chinese texts I need to memorize. You go ahead, and if you see any nice clothes, just get them for me."

　　It wasn't that I didn't want to go, it's just that even if I went, I could never find clothes I liked. My classmates all bought their own clothes with their own money, and I'd mentioned it to my mother, but she'd always rejected it.

　　I know my mother meant well, but the older I get, the more I realize something's wrong. I'm becoming less and less assertive, less and less willing to express my opinions, and my personality has changed from lively and cheerful to indifferent... to the point that at 23, I have to discuss changing my hairstyle or job with my mother and get her approval, which suddenly feels ridiculous. If I insist on doing something against her wishes, I feel unfilial, upset, and guilty towards her.

　　Here I want to say to my mother: "Mom, if you love me, please let go appropriately and respect my opinions. I don't want to be your obedient daughter anymore; I want to be your safe haven."