Perhaps the understanding of "respectful but not respectful" should be this: we are respectful of others' power, wealth, and value, but we respect their high moral character and our heartfelt admiration (of course, this understanding is somewhat narrow or just one perspective). However, in this article, I mainly discuss respect, not reverence, because it should be something we can see deep within our human nature.
When I saw the phrase "respectful but not respectful," I suddenly had the urge to write an article. Because we often flatter someone's ideas when we have our own opinions, but we fail to respect them. Perhaps we don't respect them because our position is still humble, perhaps because our timing isn't right, or perhaps because we are stubbornly clinging to our own self-righteousness, still searching for arguments—whether right or wrong—for a proposition that needs further refinement.
Since the existence of nations, there has been wealth and poverty; since the existence of people, there has been hierarchy. We may be able to force a smile and ignore these things, but these things exist regardless of whether we care or not. Because people strive for higher positions, and water flows downhill—this is a natural law. Because we, people of different eras, always seek something to learn from the previous dynasty or other countries, customs that have evolved in those times or places become arguments for their supposed advancement or progress. This is because any nation or people will inevitably follow in the footsteps of those that develop faster. Perhaps this is an inevitability of social development, or perhaps it's the inevitable progression of life towards more advanced stages.
We progress, become more enlightened, and more civilized by learning from advanced and civilized cultures. Thus, what was once a barbaric land may have become a renowned metropolis. During this process, we learn the etiquette of advanced and civilized cultures, but we also learn the shrewdness and worldliness, the cunning and treachery. As for the frankness and innocence that may have been preserved in our past, despite some backwardness, they have almost completely vanished under the influence of these foreign influences. As we follow civilized and advanced nations and peoples, how much have we lost, and how much have we gained? Like the Song dynasty scholar trying to learn to walk, we end up failing to master the agile or graceful gait of others, even forgetting our own former way of walking, and finally crawling back home. As for the countless possessions we once had, they become a yellowed sheet of paper abandoned in the wind, impossible to find.
However, when civilization and progress collide with insatiable desires and the dark side of human nature, we often suffer internal wounds. Those scars remaining on our hearts cannot be healed by advanced civilization, nor by the combined poison of desire and the dark side of human nature, nor even by the ignorance and simplicity of our past primitive state. Thus, in the gradual relapse of old ailments and the torment of confusion, we reach a point of no return.
Therefore, regarding the new things we see, feel, smell, and experience on our journey forward, we cannot imitate them simply because others do them well; we cannot imitate them simply because we have never possessed them; we cannot imitate them simply because they are advanced and civilized. Because we haven't yet grasped its essence, because we lack the skillful techniques of those manipulators, because we haven't yet discerned its merits and demerits over time. On one hand, what we see in that instant may be an illusion. On the other hand, we need to make multiple judgments and discernments before considering whether we should learn from or emulate it.
In the face of advancement and civilization, we need a match of equal social standing; in the face of advancement and civilization, we need to be equipped with extremely high levels of refinement. We sense that their advancement and civilization are long-lasting, we recognize their helpfulness on our path forward, we compare the gap between our past backwardness and advanced civilization, and after understanding the skillful techniques of their operation, we accept them willingly. Because we have matured in the process of progress, because we have learned to assess situations and adapt to changing circumstances. However, we have also become opportunistic in the process of progress, we have become disrespectful in our respect, we have become insatiable in our desires, and we have become worldly and shrewd in the process of progress.
We've followed civilization and progress, but whether it's been with a sense of inferiority born of unattainable progress, or with pioneering spirit of forging new paths, remains unknown. Because, according to the law of conservation of energy, I believe that when we need to pick up something, we must inevitably give up something else; after all, what one can hold in one's arms is finite. We follow others in a respectful but not respectful exploration. We follow because we lack the courage to cross the river by feeling for stones, because the lingering fear of being the first to stick one's neck out still exists in our bones. We follow because we don't want to take too many detours. We follow because we are helpers on the road ahead, because we have formed an inseparable whole with them in this intangible, temporary phase, because a large group might boost the confidence of the leader, and also because our goals are the same.
Ultimately, at the destination, we will generally part ways. This is related to our detached principle that we can only share hardship, not prosperity. Perhaps our initial companionship was destined to be superficial. Our cooperative relationship with them was only because our goals and interests were aligned at that stage. Because possessiveness is a normal human trait, we all yearn for the leadership that allows us to command a large following. We may not be able to achieve it, but we also won't easily be manipulated. This might be an avoidance tactic after the desire to control others is thwarted. After all, we still control our own freedom; we can still be masters of our own freedom.
Here, I'm not referring to specific social phenomena, nor am I comparing it to today's collaborative work environment. I'm simply gently drawing out the threads of human nature. Because I'm only searching within individual humanity, for some of its inherent flaws; because I only appreciate the final turmoil and the superficial harmony in the early stages of cooperation amidst the respectful yet disrespectful mutual exploitation (don't mistake this for ulterior motives; to me, it's a scalpel dissection).
This so-called respectful yet disrespectful behavior is actually a false flattery when we are inferior to others; it's a cover-up for having our own opinions but being unwilling to contradict others. Being respectful without being obsequious is a smokescreen we release when we are not yet capable of handling things independently. We use this humility to accumulate our strength, preparing to deliver a fatal blow to those who challenge us. Being respectful without being obsequious is the specialty of schemers, the specialty of petty people, and a common tactic used by those who cannot achieve greatness. It is also a manifestation of the uncontrollable greed deep within human nature, driven by desire. In being respectful without being obsequious, we trample on our own conscience and the dignity of others.
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