A
girl I know has a good job and seems very well-behaved, but she hasn't been in a relationship for years. Her friends are worried about her and asked me if I knew anyone suitable. I told her in front of her, "The people you introduce aren't the ones she's looking for. She doesn't like those men you introduce."
Hearing this, the girl's eyes lit up instantly, and she asked excitedly, "Twelve, how did you see through me? I really don't feel anything for those blind dates."
A girl who hasn't truly experienced life's ups and downs can't control the rest of her life.
I asked her, "You like those domineering, slightly bad-boy men, right? It's a pity they won't like someone like you."
She said, "Yes! I've had crushes on several, and they're all like that."
Many people don't understand why some girls get anxious as they get older but still can't find the right person.
The reason is really simple.
These girls often had strict upbringing in their youth, were obedient daughters at home, and didn't properly rebel during their rebellious phase. Then, nearing 30, they're unwilling to marry an honest man and enter a boring marriage.
Yet, they lack the ability to attract interesting men and navigate more complex relationships.
This is something many parents never consider—
they only think about protecting and controlling their children, causing them to suffer emotional repression during adolescence, never having the opportunity to express themselves and be their true selves.
Such children, as adults, particularly admire those who are confidently "free-spirited," envying their willfulness and arrogance, yearning for their world, and longing to meet such people to unleash their inner rebelliousness.
However, they are accustomed to self-protection, knowing their age, unable to withstand hurt, unable to make mistakes, and even more afraid of their parents' reproach.
Unable to choose the people they want, and disliking the people they can choose, they live a life of routine in this contradictory state, afraid to change their way of life, yet unwilling to accept their current lifestyle, unsure of what to do with themselves.
This
tragedy of family education also takes another form: living an adult life but being completely unable to manage complex relationships.
I've witnessed many painful marriages because the women
, after marriage and childbirth, are utterly helpless against the ugliness of human nature. They lack the ability to compromise on principles, are incredibly weak, powerless to fight back, and completely clueless about what to do. Such women often have kind and honest parents who raised them with "obedience" as their guiding principle, never letting them experience the complexities of the adult world. They made all the decisions for them, depriving them of the ability to think and make their own decisions, and to solve problems independently.
A former classmate of mine had her major, job, and marriage partner all decided by her parents. After graduating with a master's degree, she obediently returned home, became a middle school teacher, married the son of her parents' friend, and had her child raised by her parents. At
30, she looked 35, wearing black-rimmed glasses, overweight, and unkempt. Then her husband cheated and demanded a divorce. Now she's simply moved back home to live with her parents.
So, young women, don't be afraid of heartbreak, don't be afraid of encountering bad men.
If you like someone, go for it; confessing your feelings might result in rejection.
Don't eat the same thing at the same restaurant twice.
Visit at least one place you've never been before each year.
Make at least one new friend each year.
Don't smoke, but you can drink; have a drink with someone you like late at night.
Reading is good, but books won't teach you how to live. The more experiences you have, the more grounded you become, the less fear you have, and the better you can manage life.
The people I've met who balance career and family all share one thing in common: not high education, not beauty, not advantages, but rich experience, courage, and insight.
Therefore, they can not only manage their husbands, but also their mothers-in-law and nannies; they can not only seize career opportunities, but also raise their children well.
Every experience you have shapes different facets of yourself.
This isn't about being worldly-wise; it's about life polishing you into richer layers.
Different experiences create different aspects of you: tough, sharp, gentle, delicate, rational, and methodical.
3.
Only women who have experienced passion, love, hate, and even despair, like diamonds polished to reveal their many facets and gradually shine, can cope with different situations in life.
Naïve women, with their fragile hearts, seem increasingly foolish as they grow older, because they only ever have one facet.
Life, like skincare, cannot be a multi-functional cream.
Expecting multiple problems to be solved with a single solution is impossible.
This world belongs to women with rich inner lives and diverse perspectives.
Whether man or woman, those who are too simplistic cannot navigate life.
If you are a parent, please don't overprotect your child out of kindness.
Many parents have narrow perspectives; they can't even manage their own lives and marriages, so how can they presume to guide their children's lives?
Two years ago, a relative's child was in a relationship during their senior year of high school. The mother anxiously asked me what to do, saying that her child's boyfriend not only had poor grades and a poor family background, but had also taught her to be jealous and competitive. Now, after the college entrance exam, the child didn't want to attend the university they were admitted to and actually wanted to stay in the same city as the boy.
I told her, "Don't try to stop her. The more you stop her, the more rebellious she'll become. Take her to a big city this summer, let her escape her current environment for a while, give her time to think for herself. "
As a result, after a month in Shenzhen, the girl obediently went to university in Beijing. Less than two months after starting university, she decisively broke up with her boyfriend and started a new life.
The girl's mother was relieved and sighed to me, "I can't understand the world anymore. Let her go and try!"
You have to believe:
a person with the ability to think will naturally know what is good and what is bad
, what tastes good and what doesn't .
The reason she doesn't know is because she hasn't seen or tasted anything better.
The reason she doesn't know is because she has lost the ability to think and judge.
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